Peishan taught me that if you really love a person, you should learn to let go if the person request so that the person can be happier that her desires are fullfilled. However, if you want to let me go so that I can be happier, then how about you? If you said you don't want to hurt me anymore, i understand, but why do you want to hurt yourself? I love you because you are a girl who puts others before yourself, i know i have a weakness for nice people but right now i just wish to see this nice girl happy. If it hurts you leaving me i'm not going to leave your side. You once promised me you won't leave me unless i've told you to, and since you do like me i believe you still do want me by your side. I'll do anything for your happiness and i'll stay by your side supporting you as a boyfriend. I know i haven't done enough for you, that's why I don't want to leave you yet. All i want, is to see you smile, I don't care if i'm hurt or not because as long as i'm by your side, i'm happy.
~ 1:15 am ~
Guys, ever thought about how one can actually be happy at a time when most should be sad. I'm sad now because i'm happy. I'm feling guilty that this may show that I don't love her much at all. But i swear it's untrue, I'm happy that she'l be hap, but will she? That's what confuses me, if I can know if she's happy the it'll be great, but I really can't help but think, is she crying now? It'll seriously suck because she has like exams tomorrow and i don't want her to bear any burden. So my last request to you shall be please, i beg you, Charmine, please don't feel sad ok? You don't have to feel guilty about anything, i knew this was coming already and i'm somehow prepared ever since the start. I've kept my friends close to my heart and i'm glad i've stayed true and never lose myself in the process of this relationship. Looking back at the happy memories weren't actually very happy at all because all along i knew we didn't had the "Chemistry", i'm so so sorry to have told you only now because i've tried my best to improve it. I really just don't want you to see me as a jerk who deliberately drags on a relationship when i knew it would never make it because deep inside i'm afraid to hurt you too. But the truth is that I do love you for the girl you are inside, the girl who's always wiling to put others before herself.. Rock on yeah!.. You have been great to me, so great that deep inside i may not want to let go, but dragging it on is just going to make it worst. Remember to always stay true to your heart, do not change for no one and SMILE!...
I'll always have a place in my heart for you, I'll never forget you...''
Oh ya, Peishan, if you're reading this, thanks for teaching me so much on how to let go, it makes it much easier to let go...
Thursday, June 21, 2007
~ 2:55 pm ~
I'm still sick so yeah, not able to go to school today..=( Anyways, i've finally found my blogspot and i should begin catching up on the postings. Actually wanted to meet up with Darling but by the time she woke up, it was kinda late already so yeah, never had the chance to meet her because i've got work thus i went to see a doctor and went home to update this blog. The doctor said that it's a 50% chance of a virus bacteria infection and that he can't write me an MC for yesterday which Lay Peng request for, so he wrote on the MC today's date instead.
Work was kinda, not fun initially because i had a sore throat and i was like dry coughing throughout the entire night. Then Wan asked me if i am able to shrink wrap Aniza as it was her Birthday and i said anthing lor. We went in store room B and waited for Shah to get the party started. Poor Aniza ended up shrink wrapped and trapped inside a ladder. She was actually suppose to meet her boyfriend after that but because of our evil deeds she's late for her date. So poor thing. Hahas.. Then after that we felt "guilty" so we shrink wrapped Yati too. Hahas. She's Aniza's best friend in the store so they must suffer together i guess..
Mom fetched me home after work as she knew i needed a good rest. Hahas. Tomorrow's gonna be a better day!..
